It ain't the crown that's the problem - why go Red if you can stay Orange (or how join the ranks of Andromeda-collision-avoiding tractor builders).

A plan for a long and thin needle to get the metal from Sun's core

  • By Artem V. Shamsutdinov
  • March 29th, 2023
Всем пацанам в Украине посвящается - держитесь хлопцы и братки, скоро Киевская Русь от Софии до Чукотки покажет у кого на севере трубка мира.

Phase 1. 0 - 70 "The tea spoon" Get the ball out of the big pond - get the diversants out of the ocean by explaining that it's our space, we'll populate guys from Europa and Pluto there (and wherever else in our own solar system). "That's what mom wants anyway". Update 3/30 And build the долбанутый space elevator, you долбанутые бездельники - it looks like the pump needle from space and is our calling card though it ain't the cross that can move it in and out (look at satelite imagery of Buckley Space Force base).

Phase 2. 70 - 700 "The under-tea-cup plate" Secure our own ball (from the bullies that stopped by the playground). Prep the ocean for population - first experiment in Indian ocean, with the lesser developed race (Europa?)

Phase 3. 700-7K "The soup plate" Get the ball to the new kid from the burned out house. Get Venus ready for initial population by the picked out friendlies (Update 5/18 the ones that must be helped). Yes, this will involve external help with moving, burning off atmosphere, etc. But it's really only for the initial group of settlers (Update 5/18 it's up to us to get developed enough by this time to be the "little helpers").

Phase 4. 7K-70K "The big dish". Clean up the playground. Asteroid safety, initial venturing into the neighborhood.

Phase 5. 70K-700K "The rubik's cube" - safely go grocery shopping. Get approval from "Startrek Borg" and ability to safely traverse the galaxy (city). Start building lego toys - initial machines (not yet tetrahedrons) to manage the heating up Sun.

Phase 6. 700K-7M "The 3D triangle rubik's cube" (look it up, it actually exists, my uncle has one) - get under the playground tree, it's getting hot. Get approval from the everlasting (perhaps androidal) culture. Build tetrahedron machines that can (I guess) both manage Sun's surface and move planets (on our own, finally). Use the extracted energy to setup whatever infrastructure we need in the solar system at that point.

Phase 7 7M - 70M "The ball pump needle" - un-blow the soap bubble (the one that is blown via a pipe). Build long ass, very thin, deep drills with shielding and yet to be understood density management to extract metals from the Sun's core (didn't we drill all the way down to hell here on Earth already?) :)

Phase 8 70M - 700M "The pimple" - deal with the polka dot shirt. By now we've done one rotation around the city/galaxy that has many traveling black holes. Using even longer and stronger pipes we can now suck material away from a black hole in the direction needed to properly move it. If that's too much for the physicists here (c'mon you know we are in the stone age right now, given how much time has passed for the "angels") then suck the material around the black holes. Or just build a machine big enough to gravitationally pull the black hole while not being within the event horison and have the power to move away. In any case by that time we'll be able to deal with the problem of the destructive black holes.

Updated 12:42PM MDT

Phase 9 (How knows how long but might not have time on this schedule, so maybe if we really work hard we can save some time in the later stages) The road paver - get a job and flatten the bump in the road. Now that we can move the black holes, join the road maintenace crew and speed up the rotating galaxy in a direction that will "move the ship" to excape the gravitational well of Andromeda (which might actually be smaller than us based on the latest research) so that the bulk of the galaxy will move past it (parts will have to be tranfered from both sides for continued star building). And flatten Andromeda in the process - those "goat cheeses".

Phase 10 Shake the martini - ride the bike in the big ball. We can't see out of the galaxy, at light speed we gotta wait 2 thousand years to get something out that far (and the message back, heck for the guys that have multi-billion year old civilizations, that's nothing and I strongly suspect some of them stuck around to make just the right size rings in the dust cloud of our soon-to-be solar system - it took less than 200,000 years as we now know to make it nice and mathematical - and you can do that with the above mentioned tetrahedrons, like putting a finger in a spinning circle with paint) (plus the acceleration and building time) to see the local gravitational center around which we all are probably rotating. But probably we need to shake (or spin or whatever is needed) it up so that we don't collapse in (or bump into stuff). So, boys, rev up the engine and blow past the local STEM school to get those smart children to man up. And make sure to pay attention - they are probably playing with a ball in the driveline next to the road you are roaring on! And yes, I did just text the cop (about this occurence half an hourish ago) that found our minivan yesterday with the license plate number of that white sedan and wrote: "Can ya'll lobby for speedbumps here?"

Update 7/22

It's all about the family

Some time has passed since I've been inspired to write this blog post.  Writing it certainly gave me an appreciation for the time spans involved in the cosmos and a drive to keep our species (and our planet) going for eons to come. Now, having reflected on it and having been able to gather a bit more information I would like to present another perspective to the timeline described above:

0-70 "The Early Autumn" delivery  - humanity has just gone through the shock of The Cosmic Birth.  This is the time to impress upon us the beautiful awe of the outside world.

70 - 700 In "The Winter" delivery room  - the rains of the autumn have passed and we saw the light. Now are the first few minutes of our spacefaring (albeit within our solar system) civilization. We get to know our mom from the outside.

700 - 7K The watch period in the "The Spring" maternity ward - we are in a controlled environment, its safe and we sense that. Most importantly we are getting acclimated to the strange outside world.

7K - 70K on Mom's "The Summer" parental leave - we've mostly anchored to our immediate (and sometimes extended) family with occasional visits from a greater circle of friends. And it ain't that bad - we are learning to smile and to grip. And yes parental leave should last at least one season!

70K - 700K With "The Autumn" nanny - we are not being breastfeed on every possible occasion now but we still got someone who is very special with us at all times. In a better world (which we must have built by then) it is still our Mom. And we might just be walking by the end of this period.

700K - 7M In "The Winter" preschool - ah, the best years of getting done what really matters to us and our parents, when we are still young.  Our future character is set in these critical years.  And yes, our Mom is still our rock.

7M - 70M The early life - we learn now what will be critical for what we'll be doing when we REALLY grow up.  And even more importantly, how we act will determine what kind of people we'll be for eons to come.

Of course it's all about the family, yet there'll be learning and work for us too, simple at first and increasingly more serious. And, given how long the cosmos has been and will be around, it seems befitting to measure the age of trully Cosmic civilizations in millions of years (of Motherland's rotation), don't you think?

And yes, I really want humanity to avoid premature integration scenarios and to eventually (certainly I'm in no hurry) become a truly cosmic civilization that will stand on its own and become first a parent and then a grand-parent race. And (logic dictates that :) this is exactly what our "parents" and "grandparents" are hoping for.

70M - 700M The service  - yes, I do dream of the times when people will enter service at the age of 80, after they've had the chance to focus on the family.  While we won't see those times for a while (purely for economic reasons) I'm really happy for the people that will.

... Beyond - time to get creative - what do you think?

Update 4/12 I oppose societal and technological growth through loss of life and limb. I'm praying for 2023 be the last year when War continues on our planet. I am now thinking of how we can get on the right path to stop The War and to achieve the most bright of our dreams, Update 7/22 the sooner the better.

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